We Moved When My Kids Were in High School, It Wasn’t Easy

The potential of a huge promotion for my husband and dwelling in a trip vacation spot acquired our household talking about moving. I used to be reluctant, however prepared to roll the cube and see what occurred.

To my shock, just some months later, my husband was provided his dream job 150 miles away. My coronary heart sank. Whereas my mind mentioned “Sure” to transferring our household away from my favourite home we might ever owned, and the town the place we might raised all three of our youngsters, my spirit quietly rebelled. Had been we making the right choice?

In January 2023, my household and I packed up our belongings and moved from Riverside, California, to Santa Barbara. With our daughters nonetheless in highschool and our son beginning faculty, it did not seem to be an ideal time to move. Prolonged members of the family lived in San Diego (now 5 hours away as a substitute of 1), and we additionally mentioned goodbye to twenty years of friendships.

My youngsters selected completely different paths

Earlier than we moved, our youngest daughter was a junior in highschool, loving her choir program. Whereas packing up and house-hunting we determined that switching to home-based schooling would work greatest for her throughout the transition. Just a few months later, she bravely enrolled at her new highschool. As a substitute of choir — she acquired into gardening and culinary actions. Then after commencement, she transitioned right into a professional culinary program.

In the meantime, our center daughter was a senior in highschool with a number of AP credits, so she determined to graduate one semester early after we moved. Beginning at our native metropolis faculty turned out to be a wonderful bridge for her first 12 months of faculty away from residence the next semester. She additionally labored at our native zoo, which allowed her to fulfill different younger adults.

For our son, it appeared just like the transfer a bit extra disorienting with restricted visits to his new “residence” in Santa Barbara. With a longtime friend-base at school, we inspired him to ask his roommates and girlfriend to stay with us on breaks. This allowed him alternatives to find new seashores and occasional retailers with mates so he was ultimately capable of really feel comfy right here.

I needed to put myself on the market

Getting linked to our new group did not occur in a single day for me.

Whereas it appeared like my husband adjusted immediately, I struggled to seek out my new regular, which included rewatching “Psych” — which is about in Santa Barbara — lots. I additionally organized our new residence, jogged on the seaside, and kayaked on the harbor — all by myself. However ultimately, I knew I needed to step out of my consolation zone and make connections.

Over time, I joined a book club, a paddling membership, a wine membership, and a mothers’ prayer group. I additionally acquired linked with a couple of sustainability organizations within the space. I frequented our farmers’ market, acquired my new library card, and ultimately discovered a tremendous apolitical church to hitch.

At the moment, I am pleased we made the transfer to Santa Barbara

We adopted two lovable kittens from our native animal shelter in November 2023. And although we downsized our space by half, we live extra merely and sustainably now.

With quite a few climbing trails and seashores close by, being lively is a part of our every day routine. And the abundance of galleries, theaters, and eateries has precipitated us to deal with experiences as a substitute of stuff.

Moving with older kids won’t be the perfect match for everybody. It took over a 12 months for Santa Barbara to start out feeling like residence. However two-and-a-half years after transferring, we’re genuinely pleased — nonetheless lacking previous mates, however grateful for brand new ones we have made.