4 min learnNew DelhiJan 29, 2026 11:00 PM IST
In relation to explaining surrogacy or different paths to parenthood, many dad and mom surprise when and how you can method the subject with their kids. Filmmaker Karan Johar lately opened up in regards to the dialog he’s but to have along with his twins, Yash and Roohi, who had been born by way of surrogacy in 2017. “Earlier, I used to be poetic about it and instructed them that you simply got here from Dada’s coronary heart,” he shared in a candid chat on the Soul Safar with Bhaav podcast.
He added, “Then my daughter understood the biology of it and mentioned it isn’t attainable, it’s a must to come from somebody’s abdomen. However she by no means requested me extra. From a really younger age, they name my mom ‘mumma’. They know she’s a lot older, that she’s truly a grandmother. They’re eight now, and the large, strong chat hasn’t occurred. However I believe they’ve an understanding. They’re not fairly oblivious to it.”
Karan acknowledged that “the day is coming quickly,” and he’s getting ready to satisfy it with readability and pleasure: “I believe the one approach I’ll cope with it’s with full honesty. I’ll clarify the method to them. I’ll inform them that I’m completely happy with my determination. It’s not that they’ve been denied love in any respect. I’ve given them ample love, love {that a} couple would give them. My mum and I’ve finished that. I hope and pray they’ve the emotional understanding to simply accept it and don’t carry any baggage.”
So, at what age ought to dad and mom begin discussing surrogacy or non-traditional beginning tales with their kids?
Psychologist Raashi Gurnani tells indianexpress.com, “In relation to discussing surrogacy or non-traditional beginning tales with kids, the very best method is a gradual, age-appropriate disclosure rooted in developmental psychology. Youngsters begin forming core id buildings between the ages of three–7, often known as early cognitive schema formation. Round age 4 or 5, they start to know fundamental household dynamics, which makes it a mild window to introduce the idea in easy, constructive language. For instance, utilizing storybooks or metaphors like ‘a form woman helped carry you into this world’ can plant the seed with out overwhelming them.”
Finest option to method such conversations is that if the kid begins asking organic questions
By the point a baby reaches 8–10 years, Gurnani explains that their cognitive flexibility improves, they usually start asking deeper organic or existential questions. If a baby, like Karan Johar’s daughter, begins asking particular questions like ‘Whose tummy was I in?’, it’s an indication they’re prepared for extra info.
“At this stage, honesty paired with emotional safety is crucial. As an alternative of avoiding or sugar-coating, use truth-based narrative framing — easy, factual solutions supplied with emotional heat,” notes the professional.
Creating a way of emotional safety in order that kids don’t really feel ‘completely different’
Gurnani says, “For single dad and mom or non-traditional households, fostering emotional resilience is vital. Youngsters mirror the emotional local weather of their caregivers. If the mum or dad demonstrates pleasure, acceptance, and openness about their household construction, kids internalise that as emotional security. Normalise your story as simply certainly one of many household varieties, reinforcing safe attachment bonds via consistency, love, and inclusion.”
Utilizing instruments like therapy-informed storybooks, publicity to various households, and affirming language additionally builds self-concept readability. It’s essential to validate feelings and deal with emotions of being “completely different” with empathy, not correction, she provides.
