4 min learnNew DelhiFeb 10, 2026 12:00 AM IST
Conversations about parenting typically shift as soon as kids enter adolescence and early maturity, when emotional intelligence, boundaries, and self-protection grow to be as vital as educational or profession steerage. Throughout a latest promotional interview for her newly launched e-book Mrs Funnybones Returns, creator Twinkle Khanna spoke candidly about these dilemmas while discussing her children. In an interview, she mirrored on how parenting recommendation can’t be one-size-fits-all and have to be formed by a baby’s temperament and character.
When requested for the very best courting recommendation she had given her son, Aarav Bhatia, Twinkle described him as inherently type. “Together with your kids, you need to see their personalities, and also you then give recommendation in accordance with that. My son is a really type particular person, very soft-hearted, since he was a baby. Not simply courting, however even with associates and different folks. I needed to all the time inform him to have his boundaries as a result of he’s so beneficiant, that may typically lead different folks to take benefit,” she stated, highlighting a priority that resonates with many mother and father of empathetic kids.
She additionally contrasted this with the recommendation she provides her daughter, Nitara. “With my daughter, I inform her she has to decrease her boundaries. She is simply 13, and he or she must be rather less aggressive. So, whether or not it’s courting or friendship, or it’s simply any relationship, that recommendation is just about the identical. It’s how you need to perform on this planet, not solely with any person with whom you’ve got a romantic relationship. So for him, get a little bit bit extra aggressive and for her, get much less aggressive,” she advised The Print.
So, how can mother and father assist type, beneficiant kids develop wholesome boundaries?
Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Reply Room, tells indianexpress.com, “Sort and beneficiant kids typically study early that being ‘good’ means being accommodating. Mother and father can shield this kindness by pairing it with boundaries.”
She continues, “Mannequin boundaries in on a regular basis life. Let kids see you decline requests calmly and with out over-explaining or guilt. Train them to test in with their physique and feelings: discomfort, anger, or exhaustion are indicators {that a} boundary is required. Importantly, reward assertiveness, not simply compliance. When kids are appreciated just for being useful, they study to override their very own wants. Elevating emotionally wholesome kids isn’t about lowering kindness, however about instructing them that generosity must be a alternative, not an obligation.”
Dangers of being overly accommodating in friendships and romantic relationships
Khangarot notes that when an individual constantly prioritises others’ wants over their very own, resentment typically builds beneath the floor. This resentment could not all the time be expressed outwardly however can flip inward, affecting self-worth and emotional well-being. Porous boundaries make it troublesome to distinguish the place others finish and the self begins, resulting in poor self-relationship.
“Over time, people could lose contact with their very own wants, needs, preferences, and even values as a result of they’re consistently adapting to maintain relationships intact. This sample will increase vulnerability to manipulation, emotional exhaustion, and one-sided relationships,” notes the knowledgeable.
How can mother and father tailor recommendation in another way for youngsters with contrasting personalities?
Youngsters don’t want the identical recommendation, Khangarot stresses; they want recommendation that matches their emotional wiring. For a extremely empathetic youngster, mother and father ought to give attention to strengthening boundaries — instructing them that empathy doesn’t require self-sacrifice.
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With extra assertive kids, the emphasis shifts to attunement—serving to them recognise how their phrases and actions have an effect on others and when to melt their method. “The core values stay the identical: respect, consent, and mutual care. What modifications is the talent being strengthened,” suggests Khangarot.
