4 min learnNew DelhiJun 3, 2026 09:47 AM IST
In terms of relationships, the way in which two folks join in the beginning usually shapes how issues unfold later. In an interview with Her Circle, actor Soha Ali Khan recalled, “Kunal would ship me messages saying, ‘Toh aaj raat ko aap kya kar rahi hai (So, what are you doing tonight)?’ And I’d be like, ‘Nothing’, after which he’d say nothing. And I’d be like, ‘What a weirdo, like what does this imply?’ Like, absolutely it is best to comply with up. However he by no means adopted up.” She admitted she discovered his method complicated at first, not understanding the way to interpret his silence after reaching out.
She additionally shared a humorous second about their first outing. “After which as soon as, I believe he mentioned, ‘Do you need to exit for ice cream or one thing. And I used to be like, I don’t eat ice cream, I eat like fat-free sorbet or one thing. He was like I don’t suppose we will be mates as a result of how are you going to not eat like…” For her, meals wasn’t the primary option to bond, however for him, it clearly was. “And his love language is meals, in order that’s an enormous hurdle in our relationship. He likes to prepare dinner, and he likes to feed, and for me, loving anyone just isn’t feeding them. It’s most likely consuming their dinner… yeah and all, like I imply, truly like conversing and you understand like wanting into one another’s eyes and issues like that. And he can’t, anyway, he doesn’t. He doesn’t do conversations over dinner. So our first date was over dinner, he didn’t even converse to me as a result of he was too busy consuming.”
So, when somebody exhibits curiosity vaguely or inconsistently, how ought to one interpret that?
Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist, tells indianexpress.com, “There’s no single option to learn such behaviour as a result of folks talk curiosity very otherwise. For some, it’s nervousness or shyness; for others, it could be testing the waters with out understanding what they need. As an alternative of endlessly decoding, the more healthy manner is to ask instantly or reply with readability your self. This reduces assumptions. Overthinking usually comes from making an attempt to decode the opposite’s intent as an alternative of stating your individual wants overtly.”
If two folks categorical care in very alternative ways, what are some sensible methods to bridge that hole with out fixed friction?
Variations in how folks present care don’t all the time should be an issue, Baruah says; they are often a part of what makes a relationship stronger. One particular person cooking and one other speaking quite a bit could feel mismatched at first, nevertheless it’s actually about studying to worth one another’s “language.”
She provides, “As an alternative of wishing your associate liked such as you do, discover what they’re already giving. Then, add small efforts to satisfy them midway — like appreciating the meal and making house for phrases. This steadiness retains each companions seen and revered. Relationships aren’t about sameness, however about studying one another’s rhythm and adjusting with care.”
How can {couples} navigate early mismatches with out writing one another off too shortly?
Baruah mentions, “Begin by wanting inward. If their silence or concentrate on meals feels rejecting, is that tapping an older story—of not being chosen, not being heard? We regularly learn the current by previous templates. Earlier than judging the opposite, separate the sign from the story: what they did vs. what it means to you. Then attempt a delicate, clear transfer—title your want with out blame (“I get pleasure from speaking about X; can we try this after we order?”), ask a easy clarifying query (“Are you nervous or simply hungry?”), and spot the response.”
