4 min learnNew DelhiJun 17, 2026 01:00 AM IST
When a relationship begins to unravel, the emotional toll it takes — particularly within the presence of a kid — might be immense. Rhea Pillai, who started courting tennis participant Leander Paes in 2003 and had a daughter, Aiyana, with him in 2005, opened up years later about how strained their bond had turn out to be.
By 2012, issues had reportedly deteriorated to the purpose of no return, and their authorized battle grew to become public in 2014 when Rhea accused Leander and his father of emotional, psychological, and bodily abuse. In an outdated interview with Mumbai Mirror, Rhea shared, “Nothing was ever hunky dory. I used to be simply saving my marriage for the sake of my youngster. I had made peace with myself however there got here a degree once I determined that we would have liked to separate. His ego couldn’t settle for my resolution.”
She additionally spoke concerning the emotional endurance it took to stay within the relationship, and the battle that adopted her resolution to stroll away. “Sure, Leander locked me out. I’d gone with my youngster for a birday social gathering. Chief and his mom have been working out of the constructing as I used to be getting into. They even put my garments in packing containers and threw them out. Really, 5 individuals had forcibly damaged into my home as soon as earlier than too,” she recalled the aftermath of her resolution.
What are the psychological penalties of staying in an unhealthy relationship ‘for the sake of a kid’?
Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder at Kirana Counselling, tells indianexpress.com, “Staying in a relationship solely for a kid can usually result in emotional burnout. Whereas the intent is protecting, the end result might be damaging. Youngsters are extremely delicate to emotional undercurrents they usually study all the pieces from statement. Consider it like this, a baby learns to speak and talk within the first 2-3 years, even earlier than going to a proper education. That’s observational studying in motion. Therefore if distorted and emotionally cold relationships are being modeled, that’s what the kid will study.”
On the core of it’s patriarchy and societal conditioning which regularly discourages ladies to take stand and relatively be supportive and make sacrifices for his or her household, even to their very own peril. For the mum or dad, it usually leads to continual stress, emotional numbness, and a lack of private id. Over time, this may escalate into melancholy or nervousness.
Why do some people react with hostility or manipulation when their companion initiates a separation?
When one companion chooses to go away, Arora notes, particularly after years of silently accommodating the opposite, it will possibly deeply problem the ego of the companion left behind. “For some people, notably those that equate management or dominance with love, a companion’s resolution to separate looks like a private failure or a blow to their perceived superiority.”
Past ego, there may be grief too. This usually triggers defensive behaviour: gaslighting, manipulation, and even public blame. “Ego, on this context, isn’t just about conceitedness, it’s a fragile id construction constructed on energy dynamics. Separation dismantles that illusion of control. For somebody who hasn’t performed emotional work or confronted their insecurities, the lack of this management feels insupportable. And manipulation looks like management once more,” Arora explains.
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How can somebody in a strained relationship safely navigate the choice to go away?
Step one is acknowledging that one’s peace is non-negotiable. “Consulting a therapist may help in validating experiences and creating a security plan, particularly if manipulation, isolation, or refined threats are concerned. Involving household and buddies for exterior assist is essential too,” states Arora.
