4 min learnNew DelhiMight 29, 2026 05:00 PM IST
Talking on the Tiger Pataudi Memorial Lecture 2026 in Kolkata, Saif Ali Khan mirrored on his father, Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi, and described him as somebody who communicated in a different way from these round him. Recalling his relationship together with his father, Saif stated, “I knew him respectfully as Abba, a person of only a few phrases who by some means stated every part to us as a household that mattered. He never raised his voice and was at all times there for us. He taught us to respect individuals at a really early age.”
Saif additionally spoke about his father’s quiet nature in social conditions and the way it typically stood out throughout gatherings. “At dwelling, he not often spoke about achievements. He not often spoke about something. My mom could be exasperated at dinners and gatherings, the place individuals who knew lower than him could be giving their opinions. He would say, ‘Nobody requested me,’ however he wouldn’t communicate as a result of nobody had requested him. It was a really totally different model of confidence,” he shared.
Reflecting additional on his father’s affect, Saif added, “He believed in perception, instilling self-belief in Indian gamers who had by no means earlier than been advised they might dominate world cricket. At a time when Indian groups have been anticipated merely to take part, he insisted they compete to win. That large change in mindset, I feel, was one in every of his biggest contributions.” He additionally famous that his father might have been “barely embarrassed” by the eye however “quietly happy” that discussions remained centred round cricket, concepts and the long run.
How households can inform the distinction between character and emotional distance
Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “A quiet particular person is just not essentially emotionally distant. Emotional withdrawal has a sure absence to it. The particular person checks out emotionally, avoids tough conversations, and infrequently makes others really feel alone, even whereas being bodily current. However some persons are merely not wired to precise affection verbally. They convey by way of dependability, routine, and quiet presence.”
In lots of Indian households, Raj states, particularly older ones, love was not often spoken out loud. Care confirmed up as duty. Choosing you up at midnight. Sitting silently beside you throughout a tough time. Remembering what you want with out asking. Households want to take a look at emotional consistency, not simply phrases. Silence can really feel rejecting, however it will possibly additionally really feel deeply reassuring.
What separates wholesome quiet confidence from social hesitation or low vanity?
Quiet confidence comes with ease. “The particular person is just not making an attempt onerous to impress anyone. They’re comfy listening, comfy not being the centre of consideration, and they don’t collapse when somebody disagrees with them. There’s a steadiness to them,” says Raj.
Low vanity carries a unique power. You often see self-doubt beneath the silence. Raj explains, “The particular person hesitates continually, second-guesses themselves, apologises an excessive amount of, or avoids visibility as a result of they concern judgment. Quiet confidence is just not about being silent. It’s about not needing fixed validation to really feel safe.”
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How rising up with a guardian who fashions calmness form a toddler’s emotional growth
Kids take up emotional behaviour on a regular basis. A guardian who stays calm throughout stress teaches a toddler methods to maintain themselves collectively throughout tough moments. That type of modelling quietly shapes emotional maturity.
“However emotional restraint has to come back with heat. If a guardian is calm however emotionally unreachable, youngsters might develop up struggling to precise vulnerability. If the calmness comes with reliability and emotional security, youngsters typically grow to be adults who feel secure in relationships and fewer determined for approval. Most kids don’t bear in mind precise recommendation from mother and father. They bear in mind the emotional tone of the house they grew up in,” concludes Raj.
