4 min learnNew DelhiFeb 15, 2026 09:30 AM IST
In a courting tradition typically characterised by ambiguity, unconditional love appears practically inconceivable. Nevertheless, comic Bharti Singh’s reflection on her relationship cuts by means of the noise. On Raj Shamani’s podcast, she shared, “Usne mujhse pyaar kiya… mai jaise thi koi nahi pyaar karta. Mumbai mein ladke date karte hain, chhor dete hain phir, theater mein puppiyan karte hain… phir chhor dete hain, toh aisa kuch nahi tha. Usne seedha mujhe kaha mai aapko bahut pasand karta hun, mujhse aapse shaadi karni hai. Mujhe aisa laga ki tera mera koi match nahi, tu ek dum patla, aur mai ek dum 80 kg ki. Kehta ye (shakal) aaj hai, kal nahi, par pyaar humesha rahega. Uske alwa mujhe kisi se pyaar nahi ho sakta, mai shayad uske bina jee nahi sakti, apne aapko soch bhi nahi karti.” (“He cherished me… the best way I used to be—one thing I felt nobody else would ever do. In Mumbai, males date, then go away; they kiss in theatres after which go away—this was nothing like that. He instructed me immediately, ‘I actually such as you, and I wish to marry you.’ I felt like we didn’t match in any respect—you have been so skinny, and I used to be 80 kilos. He would say, ‘This face is for right now, not endlessly, however love will all the time stay.’ Aside from him, I don’t suppose I may ever love anybody else. I really feel like I wouldn’t have the ability to stay with out him; I can’t even imagine myself without him.”)
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“At its core, Singh’s expertise speaks to one thing many individuals crave however not often articulate: emotional security rooted in acceptance—particularly round physique picture, vulnerability, and long-term intent,” explains Arpita Kohli, Psychologist & Counsellor at PSRI Hospital.
Why reassurance is essential in relationships
Kohli provides that reassurance and acceptance type the emotional bedrock of safe romantic relationships. “When a accomplice feels accepted with out circumstances—with out strain to look, behave, or carry out a sure means—it considerably reduces anxiousness and self-doubt. This reassurance creates emotional security, which permits folks to be open quite than guarded.”
Physique picture, she notes, typically silently influences how lovable or worthy an individual feels. In Singh’s phrases—‘mai jaise thi koi nahi pyaar karta’—that vulnerability is evident. Constant acceptance from a accomplice will help dismantle these deeply internalised fears.
“Over time,” Kohli provides, “this security strengthens intimacy, communication, and mutual respect, making the connection extra resilient.”
Unconditional acceptance
Singh describes feeling cherished in a means she hadn’t skilled earlier than—chosen absolutely, not conditionally. Kohli argues that such acceptance performs a vital function in long-term dedication.
“Unconditional acceptance reassures people that love will not be fragile or transactional,” she says. “It tells them that errors, modifications, or vulnerabilities won’t threaten the bond.”
This emotional certainty builds belief. When affection doesn’t really feel depending on look, success, or perfection, companions really feel emotionally anchored quite than anxious. “Dedication then turns into a selection rooted in safety, not worry of abandonment,” Kohli explains.
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Love vs emotional dependence
Singh’s admission—‘mai shayad uske bina jee nahi sakti’—is uncooked and sincere, nevertheless it raises an essential psychological query: when does deep love tip into emotional dependence?
“The excellence lies in whether or not the connection enhances one’s sense of self or replaces it,” Kohli clarifies. “Wholesome bonding permits closeness whereas preserving individuality, private targets, and emotional autonomy.”
Feeling unable to think about life with no accomplice isn’t inherently unhealthy, she provides—if it comes from love and selection, not worry or lack of identification. “A relationship ought to be a supply of power, not the only real supply of which means.”
Kohli concludes that safe relationships are constructed when reassurance, acceptance, and honesty coexist. “When folks really feel emotionally secure, they don’t simply fall in love; they keep grounded in it.”
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DISCLAIMER: This text relies on info from the general public area and/or the specialists we spoke to. All the time seek the advice of your well being practitioner earlier than beginning any routine.
