4 min learnNew DelhiCould 19, 2026 06:00 AM IST
Actor Meera Vasudevan lately spoke candidly in regards to the emotional toll her private relationships have taken on her life. Reflecting on years marked by failed marriages and emotional disappointment, she admitted that she now seems to be again at that interval with remorse and a way of misplaced time.
Talking about her private journey throughout a dialog with Dhanya Varma, Meera mentioned, “I might have completed a lot extra with my life, however I couldn’t. I might have spent a whole lot of time with my father, mom, and sister. As an alternative, I wasted that point on others… I wasted a lot time in relationships with individuals who by no means actually took me severely or revered me.” Her remarks come after three marriages that led to separation over time — first with Vishal Agarwal in 2010, then with actor John Kokken in 2016, and later with cinematographer Vipin Puthiyankam in 2025.
Meera’s reflections carry consideration to a deeply private however extensively relatable expertise — the emotional exhaustion that may come from unhealthy relationships, repeated disappointments, and feeling unappreciated regardless of investing years of emotional vitality into others. Her feedback additionally elevate essential questions on self-worth, emotional boundaries, remorse, and the method of rebuilding one’s id after painful relationships. Many individuals, particularly after tough breakups or divorces, usually wrestle with guilt over “misplaced years” and marvel how one can regain confidence and management over their lives once more.
How can somebody course of emotions of remorse with out turning into consumed by bitterness, guilt, or self-blame?
Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Reply Room, tells indianexpress.com, “Many individuals grieve failed relationships not solely as a result of they misplaced an individual, however as a result of they misplaced time, hope, emotional funding, and the model of life they imagined. You will need to perceive that staying in a relationship that later proves unhealthy doesn’t make somebody silly or weak. Most individuals keep as a result of they had been making an attempt to like, restore, belief, or maintain on to emotional attachment and risk.”
She provides that therapeutic begins when people cease viewing the connection purely as a “waste” and begin recognising what it revealed about their wants, boundaries, attachment patterns, and emotional wounds. Bitterness grows when ache stays unprocessed, whereas self-blame grows when folks rewrite the previous with data they solely have at the moment. A more healthy method is to acknowledge each truths concurrently — “I deserved higher” and “I did the perfect I might with the emotional consciousness I had then.” Development usually comes from painful experiences, however that doesn’t imply the expertise defines your value.
Indicators {that a} relationship is emotionally draining or one-sided
Emotionally draining or one-sided relationships usually reveal themselves regularly, which is why many individuals recognise the harm solely a lot later.
Khangarot mentions that widespread indicators embrace “consistently feeling emotionally exhausted, strolling on eggshells, over-explaining your wants, sacrificing private wellbeing to take care of peace, dropping contact with buddies or household, and feeling answerable for the opposite individual’s moods or stability.” In unhealthy dynamics, one companion often does many of the emotional labour whereas the opposite takes emotional entry without any consideration. Folks may additionally start abandoning hobbies, routines, boundaries, and even their sense of id whereas prioritising the connection.
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“Studying more healthy boundaries begins with being attentive to discomfort as an alternative of dismissing it as ‘adjustment’ or ‘love.’ Boundaries should not about controlling others; they’re about recognising when one thing repeatedly harms your psychological wellbeing. Emotional maturity contains understanding that love mustn’t persistently require self-abandonment, persistent nervousness, or loneliness throughout the relationship itself,” concludes Khangarot.
