3 min learnNew DelhiJun 21, 2026 09:28 AM IST
Throughout an interview in 2016, actor Pooja Bedi shared a second along with her daughter Alaya F that struck a chord with many dad and mom. Recalling how her younger daughter as soon as casually addressed her as “yaar,” Bedi responded firmly that she may very well be pleasant, however not a buddy.
“My daughter was very younger. She rotated and stated ‘no yaar’ or one thing like that to me, and I checked out her and stated ‘Alaya, don’t name me yaar, I’m not your buddy’. There was stump silence and he or she checked out me and I stated I’m your mom, not your buddy. I could be a pleasant mom … I could be a assist system, I may be all of that which your mates are also, however I’m your mom.”
The assertion displays a bigger parenting debate: ought to dad and mom purpose to be pals with their youngsters, or keep a transparent boundary?
As per psychology, boundaries convey the sense of security and safety to youngsters (Picture: Specific picture)
Drawing clear boundaries
Dr Abhinit Kumar, Senior Marketing consultant (Psychiatry), ShardaCare Healthcity, says placing a steadiness is essential. “Dad and mom have to hold boundaries open whereas additionally paying attention and well-wishing. Youngsters require path, order, and self-discipline—and that may only come from a parent, not a buddy,” he explains.
Dr Kumar provides that when dad and mom attempt to be “simply pals,” youngsters might wrestle to know limits and obligations. As a substitute, the more healthy method is to be approachable and heat, whereas clearly setting guidelines and expectations. This steadiness helps youngsters really feel supported but in addition guided, an essential mixture for growing accountability and decision-making abilities.
Boundaries, he additional notes, are deeply tied to a baby’s emotional safety. When guidelines are constant, youngsters know what to anticipate, which reduces confusion and anxiousness. “This framework creates a way of security and predictability of their day by day lives,” says Dr Kumar.
On the similar time, boundaries educate youngsters about penalties and accountability. Over time, this fosters respect not only for dad and mom but in addition for academics, establishments, and society at giant. It additionally builds self-discipline and self-control, qualities which are important as youngsters develop into unbiased people.
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Being a “pleasant mother or father” doesn’t imply blurring roles. As Bedi’s candid comment highlights, youngsters profit most when dad and mom stay their anchors, providing heat and assist, in addition to construction and steerage.
